rambly rubbish: what am i even doing?

Hello there, it's been a while hasn't it...

I apologise for being MIA lately, a combination of university life and the fact that my new house hasn't had internet for three weeks has left me scrounging for a connection at the library, making it hard to be a good blogger. I can tell you now, you do not realise how much you use the web until you're without it - these past few weeks have been absolute torture!

Anyway, today's post is going to be slightly different, and also slightly less cheerful but I feel like it might be interesting for those of you in the same boat as I am. 

I was surfing Twitter the other day and saw a tweet from the lovely Megan at Wonderful You saying that she didn't have a clue what she was doing with her life. She wrote a post which you can find here, which is what inspired me to take to my blog and get a little deep and soppy with y'all. 

I have recently been suffering from what can only be described as a 'life block'. I've been questioning what I'm doing with my life, what career route I want to take, where my blog is going, etc etc etc. I've noticed that a lot of others have been feeling exactly the same way. Honestly, I've been having an absolute mare. I, like many of you I'm sure, sometimes feel like I have no idea where I'm going, and when things don't go as I expect I get incredibly stressed. 

I've recently had some hiccups at university, which mean that I won't be graduating with my friends and am taking a year out to do placements and work experience. Although this sounds exciting to some, I was really looking forward to getting a job in a years time and already had post university plans. I hate change, and I do feel like I've let myself down, despite knowing deep down that there's nothing more I could've done to change the situation I'm in. 

I went home last weekend for a bit of family time, and they've been so brilliantly supportive that it reminded me that it's okay to not know exactly what you're doing with your life. I am only 20 years old and have a long time to sort everything out. Most people my age are still figuring out what they want to do, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. 

Part of the problem is that when you choose a degree, you expect it to lead you somewhere, and when that doesn't happen, things get confusing. Quite honestly, I think we all just have to stop beating ourselves up. As easy as that is to say (and I have to admit, I'm not great at taking my own advice), it's definitely important to realise that just because things aren't going to plan, it doesn't mean that you've fluffed up everything forever. It's so easy to let your mind go into overdrive, which is exactly what I'm doing, and it's just stupid really. 

I just thought it was worth saying that if you're feeling pants, you're not the only one and it's okay to feel out of your depth. I'm going to try to channel any frustration I feel into being creative and doing stuff I haven't had time to do since I've been at university. I don't sew or design anymore, I don't write just for pleasure much and I don't read as much as I used to, and these are all things I'd like to get back into. If you feel a bit fed up, don't have a freak out. Motivation is the key to everything, and if you're trying hard to achieve something, you'll get there eventually.

Image Credit

Anyway, rambly rubbish over and beauty and fashion posts are sure to resume shortly. Internet will be back tomorrow and I am SO EXCITED, so regular blogging will continue and I have new videos and posts coming soon!

Hope everyone is fine and dandy. If you can relate to this little rant then do comment, always good to know you're not the only one having a mare!